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Dos and don’ts on a first date

Always meet in a public place with other people. Never invite your date to your own house or agree to go to his/her house on a first date. Make sure that you inform someone close to you, in advance about time and place of the meeting and make an arrangement to contact them after the date. Write down all the information you have about your date (even if you have not ascertained its the truth), such as name, mobile number and e-mail, and put it in a secure place that only you and your closest friends would know about, for instance your sock-draw.

Be sincere about who you are and what you are searching for – if you end up as a couple your date will eventually get to know the real you anyway and hopefully like you just as you are. If your real personality does not appeal to your date it is better to know from the start, so that you can find someone else that likes you just as you are. Also, come to the date looking like your self (on a OK day). He should think that you are wonderful just as you are both in terms of your personality and how you look.

Make your first date a short one for instance where you meet for a cup of coffee and a walk. If you really like the person you can always extend the date (in which case you will of course remember to inform your friend of this) or arrange for a second one. However, in case of a bad match you will appreciate the limited duration of the date. Going for a walk as opposed to meeting in a restaurant furthermore has the advantage that conversation often becomes smoother because you are able to discuss the scenery and people you meet on your way and since those inevitable periods of awkward silence becomes easier to handle.

Everybody likes to speak about themselves but remember to be a good listener. Ask your date about his everyday life, interests, experiences and any other relevant details. A good dialogue implies that both parties participate. If you should choose to pose personal questions it is a possibility to tell your date to let you know if he/she considers your question to be too personal. This way your date will not feel forced into sharing more information about him/herself than desired.

It is not advisable to get intimate on a first date. Refraining from any type of intimacy, including kissing, is, especially for a female a good way to tell apart a person with serious intentions from one who has not.

Do not demand an answer on the date itself from the other person about how she/he assesses the chemistry and whether you should meet again. Some people need time alone in order to sort out their feelings and also, rejection can feel gentler if it is not face to face. However, as soon as having decided on whether a second date is desired or not, you should inform the other party immediately, so that this person can be releases from the state of waiting and hoping.
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